About a year ago, I had to move into college. It was frustrating on so many different levels: I felt like I was blindly stumbling into this new phase of my life, I had an insane amount of shopping left to do and about three or four days to actually do it, my parents were moving to a different house, my sister was neck deep in midterms and struggling to focus amidst the chaos.
All my high school things, stacks and stacks of unfinished problem sets, notebooks in which I attempted to solve the aforementioned problem sets, question papers and answer sheets, report cards, post its with test schedules and important formulae, were all stashed away in a cardboard box and slipped into my grandparents' loft, where they are likely to collect dust for many years.
I remember making endless college themed Pinterest boards and saving a number of posts with titles like "Packing for college: the only guide you'll ever need" or "The complete college packing list," but when I was actually tasked with fitting my whole life into a single large suitcase that I had bought two or three days before moving, I had no idea where to start. I was utterly clueless.
After browsing through a series of social media posts and unhelpful YouTube videos, I sent a barrage of texts to the handful of people who had already moved into college. Turns out that college shopping looks very different if you're a guy. If not for a lifesaving call from a close friend who'd just started at UPitt, I might have ended up in my dorm room with about three sets of uncoordinated clothing and toothpaste that would've barely lasted me a week.
All that was a year ago. Having lived in two different kinds of student housing since then, I feel like I have a lot to say.
1. Bring clothes. All kinds of clothes, and lots and lots of clothes. I, for some godforsaken reason, thought three sets of solid colored t-shirts and a few decent pairs of jeans would suffice. But no, turns out there are formal lunches and dinners you have to go to, outreach programs, cultural events, garba, ethnic day, parties (for context, I go to a liberal university in Chennai).
I recommend bringing (disclaimer: my fashion choices, although budget friendly, are genuinely questionable and it's highly likely that you can do better):
At least one set of formals (I bought a white formal shirt and a comfortable pair of black cotton work utility pants and ended up repeating this outfit multiple times)
4 sets of sleepwear or comfort clothing (I bought these t-shirts, this pajama set and this pajama set)
At least one set of traditional clothes (I had a half-saree at home that I brought for garba night, and another that I wore for ethnic day. Reusing your high school farewell saree is also a great idea).
At least two sets of clothes that you can work out in, more if you play sports or hit the gym often (I brought two sets of comfortable t-shirts and tracks). Bathing suits if you swim. A yoga mat is great, too.
At least 3-4 sets of daily wear. I hate deciding what to wear in the morning (I blame my high school, we had a uniform) and so I went ahead and bought three or four sets of the same t-shirts, plus a few slightly fancier ones, along with two pairs of comfortable jeans. I also make it a point to wear kurtis on Friday so I threw in a few of those as well.
It is ironic that I'm saying this, because I live in Chennai, but 1-2 sweaters or jackets. University buildings are often fully air conditioned. Like everything else about my university experience, the temperature inside the lecture halls is insane, and sometimes I can't help but wonder how I haven't died of hypothermia yet.
A dress. I never actually got around to buying one that fit well, but most of my friends are in possession of a dress and yes, they come in handy.
2. Shoes. Please, please invest in a decent pair of shoes. And bring more than one pair. It's ideal to have a decent pair of sandals, good walking shoes, and maybe a set of formal shoes (My GoWalks doubled as formal shoes so that was great). Bathroom slippers are a plus, too, depending upon your housing situation.
3. Bathroom supplies. Comb, toothbrush, deodorant, perfume, moisturizer, skincare and makeup. Soap (a bar and a handwash), essential oils, shampoo, toothpaste and period supplies, all in bulk so that you don't have to worry about running out. Soap dispensers and toothbrush holders (nobody told me that I'd need a toothbrush holder). Tissues and kitchen spray. Bathroom freshener. A waterproof storage bag for all of these things.
4. Laundry supplies. A large, durable cloth bag (portable laundry hampers are terrible, expensive, and not worth the money) and a bottle of detergent that'll last you all sem. A dry iron and a compact ironing board.
5. A backpack. I like small backpacks because they force me to be minimalist, so I bought a compact one from Wildcraft, but take your pick.
6. Bedding. Two sets of sheets, a blanket and as many pillows as you sleep with. A foldable mattress is a huge plus.
7. Storage. I bought two of these super useful foldable storage organizers. You're going to need a lot of bins, because where else are the bathroom supplies, cleaning supplies and snacks going to go?
8. Stationery. A folder for loose paper (there's an insane amount of paperwork and document verification, especially in the first week), actual loose paper, a large notebook that'll last you all sem, a bunch of working pens and you're good to go, at least if you're a CS major (my roommate takes Biology and Neuroscience classes and often needs more supplies).
9. Electronics. Do your own laptop research and decide on a model that suits your needs and budget. A power bank is a great investment (except if you forget to charge it, like yours truly). Spare chargers, a good set of headphones and a power strip or extension cord are great.
10. Kitchen supplies. A kettle came in handy, especially when a nasty bout of the flu went around (I haven't actually participated in the Maggi making ritual yet). It's great to stock up on snacks like granola, protein bars, nuts and dried fruit, especially if your university is in the middle of nowhere and the only trace of human civilization is many miles away. Bring your own water bottle and don't borrow other people's, that's how the flu spreads. Paper cups, plates and spoons are great, but please be kind to the environment. Trash bags are lifesavers. Kitchen spray and microfibre cloths are godsend.
11. Random, uncategorized things nobody tells you about. You're going to need to have some cash on you (even if you have a credit card or UPI set up). Bring a decent wallet with plenty of room (turning eighteen involves getting all kinds of new IDs). Have meds on you all the time: in addition to any meds that you take regularly, throw in some painkiller, cough syrup and fever reducer. Mosquito and bug repellents can come in handy, depending on the nature of your housing. Get yourself an umbrella, too.
After managing to fit all of my things into a single large suitcase and a not-so-large backpack (to this day, I don't know how I did it), muttering a prayer to our family deity, we drove to the hotel I'd be staying in for the next few months.
Hotel? Huh? Do you mean hostel?
Not at all.
I go to a start-up university and the housing isn't ready on campus, so I had the unique life experience of briefly being accommodated in a hotel, after which we were moved out to villas.
Unpacking turned out to be an entirely different struggle altogether. My roommate and I bonded over comparing toothpaste brands and skincare products (turns out we both used almond shampoo and the same deodorant). It was as though our suitcases would never empty. We would unpack, put things on shelves, fold clothes, organize, and just when we thought we were done, we'd unzip another hidden compartment in our suitcases, or find another bag, tucked away in the corner, waiting to be opened and sorted.
We went downstairs for dinner later on, less than halfway through our suitcases, looking like we'd walked through a tornado. A group of boys in the dining area casually revealed that they had finished unpacking hours ago, and that it hadn't taken them more than forty five minutes. Huh. Moving into college really is different if you're a guy.
The level of freedom that living away from home brought about was overwhelming. We were free to sleep at whatever ungodly hour we pleased, eat fries and chips in large quantities and down carbonated drinks without being told off, party in our dorm rooms until late into the night, or get blasphemous tattoos and piercings without receiving bombastic side eyes.
With this newfound freedom came extraordinary responsibility. I learned to wash my clothes by hand (courtesy bad laundry services) and take public transport. I was so much more conscious about the small, seemingly insignificant choices that I made on a daily basis: who I chose to talk to, how I dressed, what I chose to eat and drink, when I slept, how I spent my money, even the places I frequented on campus.
Being the eldest daughter in a brown household is hard.
Being the eldest daughter moving away from home for the first time is harder.
Being the eldest daughter moving away from home and having to deal with protective parents is even harder.
The conversations I had with my mom for the first few months were a constant back-and-forth of her telling me a long list of what not to do, and me reassuring her that I knew what I was doing and would come home in one piece. Our unconventional housing only seemed to heighten her concerns. Communicating over the phone wasn't easy. There were disagreements and fully blown arguments.
Visiting home is different now. The coffee no longer tastes like magic. There is a huge sense of displacement. My childhood bed has been taken apart, my desk has been thrown away. Neither can I stay at home, nor can I stay away from it. It is as though I am homesick for a place that no longer exists. There is a word for this feeling. Hiraeth.
With time this feeling fades. We learn to embrace change. We become accepting of the fact that things are different. I sit in what is now my sister's bedroom, staring out the window at a honeybee lazily circling a cluster of bright pink flowers. It's funny how life goes on.
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